Review by Ryan Sutton Feb. 17 (Bloomberg) — Soft pretzels and hot fries. That’s one of the happy memories I have of dining at a New York museum. We crammed the snacks into our pockets and took furtive bites while checking out dinosaur fossils at the American Museum of Natural History . This was back when many such institutions merely had cafeterias. Now they have restaurants. I reminisced about such benign hooliganism while searching for my waiter at Robert, the fine-dining venue atop the Museum of Arts & Design , and while pretending to eat my ghastly porchetta at the Wright, the Guggenheim commissary where a tasting menu costs $68. It’s harder to fit a tasting menu into your pocket. Such are the ignominies one encounters amid the gourmandization of America. It seems that movie theaters are the last bastions of processed cheese sauce, now that Danny Meyer is filling Citi Field with superior tacos and the Museum of Modern Art, with braised tripe. My nostalgia for junk food aside, those are great tacos, and the Modern at MoMA is an example of how high-end art and high-end dining really can co-exist. Patrons enjoy the Michelin- starred Alsatian fare of Gabriel Kreuther while overlooking the museum’s sculpture garden. So I’m excited about Meyer’s pop-up cafe at the Whitney, set to open on Feb. 25, in time for the biennial. “Sandwiched” will serve snacks by Eleven Madison Park’s Daniel Humm, Gramercy Tavern’s Michael Anthony and other Meyer chefs. No tasting menus. Yawn I’m less excited about Robert and the Wright. Their food and design do not complement the great museums they reside in. Robert overlooks Columbus Circle. That’s the best part. Its Mediterranean fare isn’t bad, but it’s within a two-minute walk of some of New York’s best restaurants, which prepare similar dishes, at reasonable enough prices. In other words, there’s no real reason to dine at Robert. Sure there’s a great view of Central Park, if you manage to get a seat next to the window. We were led to a banquette with no view. We sank deep into the cushions, which made the table too high for eating. Shouldn’t a museum of design have figured out the design issues? Bland Sturgeon Foie gras was smooth, creamy, and at $18, about half the price and half as good as the a la carte version at Per Se across the street. Raw hamachi ($16), served at room temperature, was fine with pink grapefruit and avocado, but why not get the spicy tuna ribbons with avocado next door at Jean Georges? (Just $14.50 at lunch). Sturgeon ($26), typically rich and oily, became bland and mediocre over an awful mat of broccoli rabe; it looked like artificial turf. Better get your seafood fix a stone’s throw away at Marea. Gluey, microwave- quality tagliatelle with corn and tomatoes was an aseasonal anachronism in the dead of winter. Try A Voce for better pastas. If you must dine here, stick with richer preparations: a strip steak covered with disks of bone marrow; a special of rare veal loin flanked by crispy, fatty cheeks; and lamb loin atop musky shredded shoulder meat. Sweet Nothings Frank Lloyd Wright must be turning over in his grave. A restaurant has been crammed into what feels like the service entrance at his Guggenheim. White walls and bright lights are great for art, poor for eating. The Wright’s lunch-hall luminescence flatters no one. No tablecloths or carpets; the hard surfaces make it tough to hear your companions. Unlike Robert, the Wright lies on a quiet stretch of the Upper East Side with virtually no nighttime foot traffic. That won’t change as the Guggenheim’s restaurant is only open for dinner Thursdays to Saturdays (though it’s open for lunch most other days of the week). Too bad. The kitchen needs practice. Chef Rodolfo Contreras cooks indistinct modern American fare with no sense of acid balance. Everything tastes like candy. Parsnip soup? Cloying. Sirloin is paired with a sugary marrow marmalade; lobster, by a clementine sauce that’s as sweet as cake frosting. Butternut squash risotto tastes like a dessert rice pudding, and there’s nothing to offset the sweet paprika sauce on the crispy striped bass. Avoid the dry, tough porchetta at all cost. Fries and pretzels, please. The Bloomberg Questions Cost? Starters in the teens, many mains in the 20s at both. Sound level? Nearly 80 decibels at the Wright, about as loud as a subway station at rush hour. Much quieter at Robert. Date place? My date ditched me after the Wright. Inside tip? Cold, creamy oysters, steak tartare and a glass of champagne is the ideal meal at the Wright. Special feature? Spicy Dark & Stormy cocktails at Robert. Will I be back? Probably not to either on my own dime. Robert lost its chef last week; perhaps it will be worth another visit if the fare improves. Robert is at the Museum of Arts and Design at 2 Columbus Circle. Information: +1-212-299-7730; http://www.robertnyc.com . The Wright is at the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum at 1071 Fifth Ave. at 88th Street. Information: +1-212-427-5690; http://www.thewrightrestaurant.com . Sound-Level Chart (in decibels): 51 to 55: A church on a weekday. 56 to 60: The vegetable aisle at the Food Emporium. 61 to 65: Keyboards clacking at the office. 66 to 70: My alarm clock when it goes off inches from my ear. 71 to 75: Corner deli at lunchtime. 76 to 80: Back of a taxi with announcements at full volume. 81 to 85: Loud crowded subway with announcements. ( Ryan Sutton writes about New York City restaurants for Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are his own.) To contact the writer of this column: Ryan Sutton in New York at rsutton1@bloomberg.net .
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Guggenheim’s $68 Menu, MAD Pasta Make Me Hanker for Pretzels: Ryan Sutton
